"Once you're saved, there's no going back..."

Last year, Kristine, Povs, and I did a project in which we went to a bunch of different churches in the area and checked out the services and learned a bit about their faith. I was reading over some of our old journal entries, and basically just decided that we're ridiculous, so I thought I'd share some of the ridiculous things we ended up writing down and actually turning in...

“Thesis: To explore and develop a greater understanding of and appreciation for the religious and liturgical traditions of major world religions which happen to be within reasonable driving distance of our homes.”

Methodist

“At least Catholic clergy have the courtesy to distinguish themselves by wearing Roman collars and all black or robes, depending on their state of affairs.”

“A few other people came up and cheerfully greeted us, obviously recognizing us as foreigners/tourists/Catholics/heathens.”

“No offense, St. Katharine Drexel Church, but you have no groove.”

Methodist Contemporary

“At one point in the service, there was a baptism… and the “holy” water was in a plastic pitcher that looked like it had come right off the snack table…”

Lutheran

“It had a coat rack!”

“Steph and I totally nailed ‘For Thine is the kingdom…’ this time. Woot, woot.”

“They were going to have a children’s message before the sermon, but… there weren’t any children. (Leading us to scientifically conclude that LUTHERANS EAT CHILDREN.)”

“He was big on peace and happiness and getting along and ecumenism and that sort of thing.”

“Luther said something like “with in under below near about above across after against along among aboard” the host…”

Baptist

“Once you’re saved, there’s no going back.”

Episcopalian

“Why are the Anglicans such bad chess players? They can’t tell their bishops from their queen!”

Mormon

“It has a gym!!”

“They lyrics were rather Mormon… ‘follow the Prophet’ and that sort of thing…”

Jewish

“Judie made a joke when we said how pretty the [Hebrew] was… ‘Yeah, it sure beats Latin.’ Ooooooh.”

“Also, the coolest word in the world: tzitzit.”

Hindu

“We stood out like white people in the midst of a lot of Indian people. Yeah, analogies.”

“Then another lady handed out something that can only be described as ‘holy Hindu trail mix’ (and I mean that as reverently as possible).”

“We went downstairs… and got some awesome Indian food. Some of it was a bit spicy. My nose was running like a madman.”

“Binita then asked her cousin Bonsari and a friend to show us a traditional Indian dance. IT WAS SOOOOOO COOL. I WANT TO DANCE LIKE THAT!!!!”

Greek Orthodox

“The priest, after saying some hefty Greek prayers, took the baby and processed all around the church, with the parents following. It rather looked like a game of keep-away.”

Evangelical Free

“People were packed in there like religious sardines.”